


The Second Law

by aforceawakening



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: But I'll get to them eventually they aren't that surprising, Eventual Smut, F/M, Here is what Reylo would be like with some anidala vibes, If Star Wars was written like HBO, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo says "I do" before Snoke corrupts Ben, Romance, Space parents custody battle, There are some spoilers in the summary about this story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-15 05:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13606182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aforceawakening/pseuds/aforceawakening
Summary: After Ben Solo goes missing, word travels that he has died at the hands of First Order newcomer, Kylo Ren. Unaware that her husband and his killer are of the same blood, Rey trains to become a Jedi Knight, with the sole intent of taking down the First Order…and the man who left her alone to raise the child her husband never got to meet. [Semi Canonverse AU]





	1. Unsustainable: Entropy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a mega fan of the Ben/Rey happily married, everything-works-out-fine-after-Episode-IX trope, but this fic was written because I wanted to explore what it would be like if Ben and Rey got married before Snoke corrupted Ben to the Dark Side, if he had grown up before that happened, and what that would mean for them if/when they lost each other because of misunderstanding and greed. What would happen if they believed the other to be dead, and what that would lead them to do…to become. 
> 
> This fic is named after two-part Muse songs titled The 2nd Law: Unsustainable, and The 2nd Law: Isolated System. I would recommend giving them a listen while reading, Unsustainable for the beginning portion of the fic, and Isolated System for the latter portions. They played a large part in capturing the mood I wanted the fic to convey. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Then

 

 

“Ben?”

He had been drifting, lost in thought somewhere far from where he stood at the edge of the window, and it was her soft voice alone that caused him to flick his eyes sideways to escape the thought that transfixed him.

She glanced at him cautiously, her hazel eyes dark in the shadow of the curtain, hesitantly stepping closer. Ben found her gaze, and there was something there, though it was something Rey couldn’t quite grasp to truly analyze.

“Yes?” He replied, offering her a half smile, but it did not reach his eyes. It did not convince her.

“Where have you gone?” She asked, keeping her hands at her side, neglecting herself the opportunity to offer him a comforting touch, something she knew was custom between people of their circumstances. But she was still learning, even after all she had done to educate herself on what it meant to be a _wife_.

It had not started as a proposal of marriage formulated from love, she understood that much. Ben Solo had been the problematic offspring of Senator, now _General_ , Leia Organa and the smuggler, Han Solo. He opposed his parent’s cause, mocked the values the foundation was built on, and was no friend to any ally of his parents. That meant Rey. He was simply existing in the same vicinity, at any moment capable of leaving…and yet, he stayed.

When Han Solo found her somewhere in the Outer Rim, piloting the Millenium Falcon—what was once and always would be _his_ ship, but was stolen from him by Gannis Ducain, a time long before she had acquired it—she had been a convincing enough co-pilot and smuggler, so much so that Han asked her to voyage back with him to Hosnian Prime to meet with Leia regarding the Resistance and have a place to _belong_. But Rey declined, claiming it wouldn’t be long before she would need to get back to Jakku, she had already been away too long. She would go back to waiting.

But along the way, they caught themselves in the crossfire of Aqualish gun traders, and after, were forced to refuel and collect themselves from the damage. By then, when Han offered her again, she agreed, though still not offering a permanent stay, despite having grown to like Han and his company.

With that established, however, on Hosnian Prime, the days turned into weeks, and soon weeks turned into months, with Rey becoming too busy with what it meant to be a part of the Resistance; she hadn’t found the chance…not like Han did. He had always said he was a better smuggler than a husband…a father.

Han had returned to space, and Rey had stayed, appealing to his wife and arguing with his son.

Ah…Ben.

It was months before Leia pitched the proposal, hoping to permanently keep Rey, and offer Ben the gift of companionship. But the pitch was met with distaste and _laughter_ on Rey’s part at the preposterous thought.

Rey had met Ben an unfortunate number of times, each one beginning unbalanced and coarse, and all ending in a mutual agreement: they would furthermore not socialize to make matters worse. And yet, each time after that agreement, it happened again like a cycle. She hated his arrogance and he despised her ignorance. None, save his mother, would believe them an eligible match.

Though soon, the challenges became less frequent, and the interactions less equipped with equal annoyance from both parties. Rey saw Ben for the complex, conflicted man that he had grown into, and Ben understood her sorrow at being abandoned, and the hope that still stemmed from within. They found that the only person that could truly understand them was the other. Rey found that offering him a chance for understanding had benefited their interactions, it had made him become bearable.

They learned to enjoy their shared time, the often meetings, never orchestrated but always appreciated. For he would often find her, dusting her hands of soot, fixing some part of the cruiser that needed it, but she didn’t mind the company, she would admit she admired his voice as he spoke to her, finding it was softest when he did. And she would find him in times of lesson, listening intently to the captain ramble on about methods not pertaining to her current train of thought as she took a seat by Ben in the hangar, reaching in her pouch to pull out a scrap from her breakfast, knowing damn well that he hadn’t eaten (a habit he wasn’t keen on breaking). Gripping his hand with stealth, eyes on the captain (as they were not allowed to have food in the hangar or past the door frame of the cafeteria), Rey placed the small bit of pastry or fruit or whatever she had managed to scavenge into his palm and curled his fingers, pulling her hand away with a knowing smile to compliment her transparency, keeping her eyes straight ahead. He turned to look at her, his fingers _stinging_ from the phantom touch of where hers had once been. They didn’t talk about it. But it became a ritual. Ben would keep her company as she worked, and she would bring him breakfast.

When he had kissed her for the first time, it could have easily been interpreted as an attempt to get her to shut up, but he really just wanted to feel how soft her lips were, even as she slung insults at him in the corridor after he had said something about her height or her nimble hands or the way she _never_ shut up. His attempts _did_ get her to shut up, though. She kissed him back with equal fervor, running her fingers through his soft black hair in return, gripping tightly and trying to hold on while everything around her was _spinning_.

The marriage was diplomatic, like all things Leia Organa constructed, but by the time she had offered again, Rey and Ben were no strangers to their feelings, and there was agreement written in Rey’s features; not because she would be marrying into royalty, but because of Ben, and what he had grown to mean to her.

It had only grown since.

_Where have you gone?_

“I’m here,” Ben answered, looking down at her stiff hands and reaching for one, not denying himself the pleasure of the warmth of her touch as she had. Rey moved closer, instinctually, studying him as his gaze returned out down to the tall grass of some hill deep within the valleys of Chandrila.

“No, you’re somewhere far from here,” Rey curled her fingers tighter into his grip. Her response was armored, as if she could prove she knew what he was thinking, as if she could hear the whispers that filled his mind with doubt, as if she could possibly know that Snoke was waiting for the prime moment to take all of Ben, and hope, and _everything_ with him.

* * *

 

Rey had never felt a touch as his before, and while she knew he hadn’t been with a woman before—not like this—he worked expertly and with a certain finesse she couldn’t quite describe how he had come to know. It was as if his fingers, and strokes, and touches had all had a previous practice subject. Or maybe it was just because he _loved_ her. 

“Kiss me,” she begged, her mouth turned down slightly in a frown, but her cheeks and ears and neck all flushed a pretty pink color as he had worked his way down her abdomen with soft, searing breaths and kisses that left an invisible trail that she would probably dream about later.

Ben cupped his palms on either side of her waist and inched himself up so that he could return his mouth to hers and capture all of her greed to match his need. His fingers made effortless play to her sides, tantalizing her skin and causing Rey to exhale a soft sound that sent shivers down his spine and blood rushing to his—

His mouth practically bruised with the urgency that was flowing through him, needing to touch her all over and in any way that pleased her; all for her, always for her. Rey arched her body closer to his, finding that she could fit in more if she just pressed and _pressed_ , molding herself into him so that no inch of her was left untouched.

Ben’s fingers drifted lower down her neck, ghosting along her collarbone and falling to her breast, kneading upward and teasing, enough to make Rey make a whimpering sound against his lips. He smiled darkly, pleased with the effect his touch had on her, as his lips moved from hers to her cheek and down to her neck. He sucked against the sensitive skin there, softly grazing his teeth down to her shoulder as Rey’s nails raked down his scalp and to his shoulders to grip, _to hold on._

She might have said something but it was too soft to tell, the noise disappearing quickly into the darkness. His thumb softly brushed the inside of Rey’s thigh, finally having moved his hand from her breast and _lower_ , pushing apart her legs so that he could—

“Ben…”

There it was. His name came out of her all winded and breathless, like he had already done all that he could to fulfil her needs. He hummed against her mouth, perhaps to question what she wanted, where she wanted him to touch her, when she wanted him to stop toying with her and actually _begin_.

“Ben,” Rey practically whined, her mouth tearing from his, and he stilled. Rey peeked at him amidst her touch-drunken stupor, when it became apparent to her that something was wrong.

Even married, even after the other times prior they had been together like so, Ben was still estimating she would reject him and everything he offered. His eyes searched hers, her face softening as she watched him battle against his thoughts. She wondered how he still hesitated believing her desire to keep him; as if she had married him for less trivial reasons.

She brushed her hand against his cheek, watching his conflicted eyes.

“No…I—I just…the bed. Take me—“

Now. Begin now, it seemed.

He nodded.

Ben leaned back from their space on the floor and stood, lifting her with him. Upon placing her down on the bed, her hair splayed a pretty pattern below, and she looked up at him, naked, and flushed, and _waiting_. It made him twitch down below his abdomen. There was no room for doubt. He needed her. All of her.

And as he crawled over her, with her reaching up to continue exploring all parts of him, he found that he could never find enough of her body.

He would never have enough.

* * *

Rey woke before her husband, finding the delicious ache between her thighs no longer foreign and a welcomed feeling since their visit to Chandrila. As she would learn to associate Chandrila with wide fields of green and valleys of wild life, she would also find it would also become synonymous with Ben and their nights as man and wife: continuing to join in love, even if the initial consummation had long since been established 

He had slept facing away from her, turning at some point in the night. She knew this, because she had fallen asleep encased in his arms with his spent breathing warming her neck.  

She lifted her fingers to softly ghost along his spine, finding he had no blemishes, no scars to trace with her fingertips. His smooth skin was warm against her touch, and she realized then the cool nature of her fingers.

That roused him, and he grumbled something in deep vibrato. Rey smiled small, enjoying his distaste for mornings as a small contribution to his character that she was still learning to know and _love_.

“Do we have to go back?” Rey whispered, not entirely sure if Ben had been listening or heard her, or if she was saying it to him or the quiet room or herself.  She lifted her head, propping herself on her elbow to peek over at Ben.  He had closed his eyes again, and sleep had consumed him once more.

She watched his brow tense in his sleep, and his lips turn down, and wondered what he was dreaming about, assuming it wasn’t filled with sweet remembrance.  Her smile dimmed, and felt her stomach tighten.  Where did he go?  In dreams?  In thoughts?

What tormented him?

Rey rolled to lay on her back once more, staring up at the canopy above, splaying her fingers over her stomach, suddenly feeling an unwarranted type of dread coursing through her veins.

* * *

 

The shuttle ride back to Hosnian Prime, back to their lives, was a silent one, with Rey taking the time to chance occasional glances over at Ben. He paid her no mind. He continued staring out the passenger window, the same look on his face as before when he was lost in dreams, and Rey silently resented the fact that there was something he wasn’t telling her.

_Are you not his wife? He vowed to trust?_ A voice whispers softly, and Rey wondered if it was perhaps her own conscience, her own thoughts. She looked away, deciding she wouldn’t entertain her own resentments. They were fabrications of her own insecurities and doubts.

The shuttle met back to their residency, and immediately Ben left to tend to the needs that awaited him. He did not even unpack. Rey found herself alone for quite some time until his mother came, welcoming her new daughter with almost sad eyes.

“You two should have stayed on Chandrila,” Leia merged her hand in Rey’s as she sat. “You look unhappy to have returned.”

Rey hesitated responding, not wanting to seem ungrateful, but eventually nodded. _Agreed_. “We were happy there.” _It seemed_.

“Perhaps you should consider making a life in the valley. Ben doesn’t need all of the capital duties he tries to manage, and you have shown you hold no interest in politics. The Resistance will eventually expand to the outer regions and settle on more secluded planets. You and Ben could lead the expansion. Settle down.” Leia’s words made Rey stiffen, but she looked up, imagining.

“He’s too immersed here. His life is here.” Rey countered, shaking off the thought.

Leia shook her head. “You should be his life now, not his career.”

Leia stood and paced. “Besides, with kids—to have a child grow up here, when the First Order only further tries to implement their power upon the capital…“ Leia trailed off, and Rey couldn’t help but drop a hand to her abdomen.

“We haven’t discussed children.” Rey lifted her hand and used it to straighten her tunic, brushing away any debris. “And besides, that’s not for a while.”

Leia glanced over to her, her face hard to read. As if she knew something Rey did not. “Rey—“

“Mother,” Ben’s voice startled the pair of them, Rey having to turn fully from her seated position, straining her body to witness him, while his mother merely had to shift her head. Leia recollected her composure first.

“Welcome back,” she began, and Ben nodded, his expression still distracted though Rey still couldn’t pinpoint the reason. He inched closer into the room and out of the shadows.

“Don’t grow used to it.” Ben gripped his gloves firmly in his palm, the ensemble not fully finished without them on. “Skywalker has requested my presence on Ryloth.”

“Why?” Rey asked before she could stop herself, catching Ben’s attention as he turned to look at her. She wished she could have fathomed why his eyes softened suddenly. She would have cast her eyes down, but his stare kept her transfixed.

“His Jedi Academy has lost more Padawans to First Order influence since we left. He has requested I assist him in Ryloth to keep them from straying.”

Rey watched Ben’s eyes fall to his hands when his mother interjected.

“So, Luke has convinced you to return! That is a great honor, Ben. You were his best student.”

Ben turned his eyes to his mother, his face mirroring his distaste, “I never finished your brother’s _faulty_ academy.”

She shook her head, ignoring the way he phrased the sentence… _your brother’s…“_ That doesn’t mean you weren’t the best…before you left.” Leia persuaded, stiffly.

Rey looked up at Leia, watching her face shift from pride, to worry, to questioning, so quickly she wondered if she had interpreted her correctly. She wondered if Ben saw it too.

“I’d like to be with my wife now,” Ben said, his voice low. All the talk of the past clearly something he did not want to toy with. “Alone.”

Leia nodded, and moved past Rey to Ben, pausing when she was near enough to make Ben stiffen. “When you see Luke…tell him…” Leia paused for a moment, looking up. “Well, you know…”

Ah.

He _did_ know. Ben watched his mother with a side glance, knowing exactly what she wanted to say but hadn’t.

_May the Force be with you._

“Same to you.” She offered. And with that, Leia touched her son’s shoulder giving him a smile, one that he did not return. He offered no response.

When Leia had left, Ben’s eyes returned to Rey, and for a moment neither of them moved.

Rey was the first to escape her frozen posture, standing slowly and moving until she was close enough to Ben to touch, only she kept her hands at her sides.

“How long?” She might have whispered, or was it was her own thoughts being so loud that her words sounded muffled in the mix? Ben watched her face.

“I don’t know.” He hated the way her eyes fell at his response, though she would never admit that the knowledge stung to understand, and he knew better than to try and pry it out of her.

“Why didn’t you finish?” Rey inquired, suddenly remembering. “If you didn’t, how do you have a—“

“Lightsabers are made during the training periods, they aren’t relics won for completing the trials.” Ben returned, hoping he hadn’t sounded too pompous when addressing what she didn’t understand. Rey lacked an education on the ways of the Jedi, only familiar with myth, but that didn’t mean that Ben had to address her incompetence on the subject.

Rey just nodded, seemingly unoffended. “Well…what’s missing? What is incomplete with your training?”

Ben never talked about his training. He had all but renounced it, and Rey never inquired about it. He had a lightsaber, she knew, locked away somewhere deep in a place she didn’t know, and didn’t _intend_ to…Ben was allowed his secrets.

But this was a wound she assumed wasn’t healed. He desperately lacked the means to tend to it.

“Skywalker’s teaching ensured there remained gaps in the knowledge of what it meant to be a Jedi. Could be more things than I can tell.” Ben did not try to hide his disagreement.

“But you’re going back?”

He nodded.

Rey watched his face, and Ben stared down at her, the embarrassment of his past and frustration written in his eyes. She wondered if what he lacked made him feel incomplete. If it made him angry enough to solve it. Or if he would insist on burning his past away, clearing for new growth through the destruction.

And then he stiffened, as if someone had called out to him. He looked down, shifting his eyes away from her. Rey reached out but couldn’t find him, he was already backing away.

“I leave in the morning.”

That was all he said. He backed into the shadows, but it seemed to Rey he was already gone.

* * *

_Lost are you, young Solo._  

Ben opened his eyes slowly, as if not to address the monster too quickly in the hopes to not illicit a violent response.

Rey was asleep at his side, softly making sounds as she breathed, her bare skin a soft creamy color under the blue moonlight. She slept curled, fetal, never moving once she found comfort in dreams. Ben had held her close just before dreams found him, not knowing when he would get to hold her again. But at some point he had drifted from her.

He looked away, sitting up gently and making slow movements to fool all assumptions that he was trying to make his way out of the bed. And he did so with success, Rey being none the wiser, lost somewhere deep in slumber and ignorant of the voice that crept through his mind.

_Skywalker has denied you your legacy fulfilled._

Ben searched the room. _I’m tired of this_ , _reveal yourself_ , He willed, making himself stand and brace himself. The voice began visiting him in the day, something that he was not used to, but it was not initially frequent. Though, it always came at night, that he could count on, predictably rousing him from dreams of screaming and _horror_.

_Must you see me to believe the truth?_ The voice echoed as if it surrounded him, but it was in his mind, he was sure.

_What truth?_ Ben mulled, finding that no matter where he moved in his domain, the voice was always the same volume, the same _hiss_.

_Your victory, young Solo. Do you deny yourself the triumphs of your own destiny? Do you then allow your parents to neglect you, your uncle to suppress your success, your wife to muddy your family lineage with children spawned from a worthless--_

_Enough_ , Ben’s jaw clenched at the mention of Rey, and the voice halted, contemplating before continuing.

_But…she_ could _be royalty, I would ensure you that privilege first_.  The voice offered, _I told you before, your power is too great to deny yourself what I can give you, what I can teach you_.

Ben looked over to Rey.

_She is already royalty,_ Ben argued.

_Yes, but by marriage. She would have power formulated from her strength and not just her relation to you. I see her power, ah yes…_ the voice pausing as if to relish in the thought _…almost as raw and untamed as yours._

Ben curled his fingers into fists, trying to tame his increasing heart rate. _She is strong in the Force…Untrained, but stronger than she knows._ He agreed. Could she learn to control her power?

_Yes…_ you _would teach her, and I would ensure she wants for nothing. Look at me…_

Ben turned, his eyes finding a dark corner of the room, the one that he imagined the voice came from. But instead of seeing emptiness as he had grown so used to finding during their conversations prior, his eyes landed on a shadowed figure, barely visible enough in the darkness, only a slight outline, but a cold, nonetheless _powerful_ presence.  He froze.

_You will learn the power and respect of the Dark Side, young Solo…_ the shadow inched forward to reveal a warped face, white and hollow as it was, with piercing eyes that transfixed him. _Become my apprentice, and you will be more powerful than you ever dreamed…correct your family line, and finish the legacy of your grandfather, the great…Darth Vader…_

Ben stared at the form that made up the voice he had heard in his mind for so long, the one that tested him, offering him the things he simply needed. Ben couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe.

When Ben finally turned his gaze away to Rey, contemplating, searching, concluding when it all became too much, the decision had been made.

_You know what you must do._

Then the voice was gone, the warped face was gone, and the hiss that had lingered in his ears for years had evaporated into the atmosphere without a trace.

* * *

Rey stiffened with the kiss, her instincts warning her not to enjoy it, the pain would simply be too great. But Ben nipped and pushed a not-so-subtle warning at her to _kiss him back_ as his lips parted and she could feel how much he desperately wanted the kiss not to end because of the pain she felt; that he felt. 

So, Rey reached her fingers up to graze the waves of raven hairs that resided just behind his ears, and wrapped them behind his neck to pull him in deeper. _No more fighting_ , she had decided, and the Force that channeled through her and him sang with agreement, sending ripples of shockwaves all the way to her toes as he softly brushed his fingers down the length of her neck.

She was sure he was frowning against her mouth, but she didn’t open her eyes to see, she was afraid the moment would end.

But Ben eventually pulled back and nestled his head in the croon of her neck, having to stoop low to do so.

“I won’t be long,” it was the only thing he could think to say. His arms wrapped tightly around her, holding on when he knew he shouldn’t.

Rey tried to keep from trembling, and suppressed the tears that threatened an appearance. Morning had come as she knew it would, and Ben was set for departure. The inevitables kept stacking against her.

She brushed his hair and held him until he pulled away, readying himself to turn.

“When I return…things will change for us,” he began, and Rey looked up at him where he stood, not quite understanding. His eyes, the ones she had learned to know and found her home in, were shadowed as Ben stepped away. “You will have everything you want, everything you ever needed.”

Rey remembered her last look to her husband, and how she couldn’t help but frown, her response being, “I already do.”

 

* * *

A month into Ben’s departure she understood what had begun happening. What had begun _growing_. The unwarranted nausea becoming too suspicious for her to ignore, and the knowing looks Leia gave her were enough for her to put the details together to form her own conclusions. 

Leia consulted her the best she could, but Rey needed to tell _Ben_.  She couldn’t waste another day in shock. It was time she began preparing.

But Ben hadn’t responded in weeks. 

The transmissions sent out with nothing coming back to confirm they had even met their destination. Nothing from Luke. Nothing from Ben. Not even a Padawan answered to update in their absence.

“This silence worries me.” Leia hardly admitted her doubts, and Rey had to clench her hands tightly in one another to keep from letting the panic set in.

The resistance hangar on D’Qar was much less homely than her residency on Hosnian Prime, but she couldn’t linger in it for much longer without driving herself mad with worry. And Leia had offered her temporary companionship as she awaited word back.

“And still no news from Han?” Rey had forced herself up and paced to keep her edge off.

Leia shook her head. Han, who made frequent visits away from Hosnian Prime and Leia and Ben, was not someone Rey had expected to report back with much of anything. Ben had once griped about his father’s lack of presence in his life, and Rey had come to understand how greatly Ben had been alone without his father for most of his life, even if Ben didn’t care to talk about it much. He did, however, build up resentment.

If he was found, Ben wouldn’t be glad for his father’s presence…even then…but if he wasn’t found…If he….   

Rey felt the panic seize her, having to clutch the rim of the chair for support. Leia moved to her side quickly, her hand immediately finding Rey’s stomach.

“Rey, what is—“

But Leia was interrupted by a loud siren, a shrill three sounds before the lights began to flicker and another round of shrill sounds commenced. Leia made her way to the window as fast as she could.

“That signal...It would alert us if ever the First Order were to—“

But before she could finish there was a loud pound on the door and Rey turned so quickly she would have lost her balance if Leia had not rushed to her side.

They were still for a moment before they heard a familiar voice call out.

“General, Rey, are you in there?” Poe’s voice was urgent behind the barrier. Rey quickly found her way to the door and it slid open. She stepped out, feeling Poe’s hand firmly grip her elbow.

“We need to go!”

Finding Poe’s eyes, Rey saw the fear, a look foreign on the pilot. Leia followed in suit, tucking something in her pocket and gripping Rey to move her out of the entryway.

Poe wasted no time, pulling them, startled as they were, and they rushed down the hall in an almost fashionable unison, the rest of the militia on the base following in turn. It was complete chaos outside, however, and Rey watched as pilots quickly began taking off. The Resistance’s response to whatever danger had occurred had been almost instantaneous.

“Poe, what is happening?” Rey finally asked, her eyes searching the hangar, looking for what she could pilot that was vacant to _help_.

Poe turned his head briefly to shout as he ran. “First Order is firing their superweapon on _planets_! A distress signal was made from Takodana. Han, he’s—”

Rey felt Leia stiffen beside her. “Han is there?”

Poe didn’t respond, he ran up to the wing of his X-wing Starfighter and turned to urge them to the row of escape shuttles with his hand.

“Get yourselves to safety.” He shouted, “We can’t be sure where they are firing next. It’s not safe here.” Poe climbed up and strapped himself in. Rey and Leia moved backwards quickly, finding themselves far enough away that when Poe’s engine roared, and exalted him upwards, they had moved back enough to just feel the gusts.

Leia gripped Rey’s arm, wasting no time.

“We need to get you on a shuttle, now. Get you out of here—”

“No!” Rey argued. “I can help!”

“Rey, you know what is happening. And _that_ child needs you more than this moment does— And if planets are being targeted for destruction, the safest place for you is space.” Leia shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe she had suggested it. 

“Leia—“

“Go! Now! I’ll send for you soon, watch for my signal.” Leia was done arguing, she pulled something from her pocket and curled Rey’s fingers around it. She turned and left, urgently connecting with Connix and out of Rey’s sight.

Her eyes turned down to her palm, uncurling her fingers, and watching the beacon glow brighter, then dim, rhythmically fluctuating.  

Go to space…and wait? _No_.

It wasn’t long before she found the ship her eye had noticed earlier as they ran, and got it to launch, deciding very well that she wasn’t going to sit around, awaiting a signal for safe return.

She was going to _fight_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to include much more into this chapter, but this is a good place to leave off, otherwise the chapter would have been 10,000 words long before we got beyond the backstory of what happened. 
> 
> Oh well. See you next time!


	2. Starkiller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated this yesterday then took it down because I'm an idiot and posted it before it was comprehensible, and I'm a perfectionist always changing my story. So if you got an email alerting you, I'm sorry about giving you false hope. BUT I fixed it, and it's much better honestly. Enjoy! (For real this time).

* * *

 Rey hadn’t once thought about turning around and obeying Leia’s orders until someone--a First Order Stormtrooper—started firing at her. It was only then that she had regretting leaving the safety of her cruiser. 

This occurred after she made her way up the hill and to the clearing, seeing a castle crumble and fall away with the blasts from the First Order ships. Hearing commotion to her right, she turned to witness the Stormtrooper, knowing they were no friend to the Resistance, and suddenly realized grimly that her position wasn’t giving her much coverage if he were to see her and begin firing. Which he  _did_ , Rey having to duck and shield her head with her arms as the sparks of the blaster shot descended on her after missing her just barely, hitting the boulder formation behind her.  

She had never used the blaster like Han had taught her, and it wasn’t necessarily a shock to her that she had forgotten to switch the gun from safety mode to fire back like Han had predicted she would. She wasn’t much for dark humor, but in that moment, if she wasn’t about to be blasted apart, she might have laughed at her incompetence.

_You know how to use it?_

_Yeah you pull the trigger._

How  _naïve_.

Her battle experience included the use of her staff, and little else. What did Han expect? Her to find herself in such a situation?

When switched off from safety mode and deemed properly able to cause some damage, her blaster struck down the one firing before he could get her, much to her amazement and utter luck. She grinned victoriously, but her triumph only shortly lived before another voice yelled, alerting her that more were coming, and she was left fleeing from the other Stormtroopers and running deeper into the forest where she had emerged. It wasn’t ideal, but it was what she needed to do to find more coverage and until she could link up with any other Resistance fighters, praying that she might find some along the way if she wasn’t killed first. All the while, only briefly admitting that not following orders was a bad idea.  _A_   _bad idea_.

She had allowed herself to glance behind her, an attempt to ensure that she had run far and fast enough away to have escaped the Stormtrooper, when she slammed into something and felt strong hands intercept her, rattling her from the impact.

Rey looked up, her heart positively seizing, and found that while fleeing one Stormtrooper she had found herself in the presence of another. His grip tightened as another ran up behind him, aiming his blaster at Rey.

“Another Rebel. Get this one on board.” 

* * *

 

Rey tried to count the minutes, or at least estimate the likely distance between Takodana and wherever the shuttle was transporting the Rebels the First Order had rounded up, but somewhere along the way she had lost faith that her estimation was accurate. They were still traveling, and Rey couldn’t tell in which direction or at what speed. Wherever they were going it was far enough away from Takodana that Rey estimated her chances of Resistance allies stumbling upon her was grossly unlikely. She was in deep trouble, admitting it was a personal defeat.

The restraints were cold against her wrists, and she looked around the cabin of the shuttle, trying to find anything,  _anything_ , that could aide her in escaping. Her eyes turned down to a bit of light, softly fading and growing, repeating endlessly. It was coming from her satchel, and she lowered her elbow to clench the opening closer to her side, trying to eliminate the light’s visibility. She couldn’t risk being searched when they landed. The beacon was perhaps her only way of being found.

She looked up and noticed one of them, the only Stormtrooper not carrying a blaster, was staring at her, or at least staring  _near_  her. She couldn’t tell where his eyes fell under the mask. She clenched her elbow tighter, casting her eyes downward once more.

It wasn’t until later, that she realized that he  _had_  been watching her.

When the shuttle touched down, the trooper advanced her immediately, seeming sloppy in his movements as he pulled her up and confiscated the beacon. Rey struggled in his grip, but soon another trooper assisted in restraining her, prodding his weapon into her side to assure she complied. Rey was corralled with the other captured members, watching as the Stormtrooper tightly gripped the beacon as if to conceal it and turned, moving to where Rey could no longer see him, taking her only chance at escaping with her.

They were locked up, for hours or minutes, she couldn’t properly tell. It was her and a select few found on Takodana residing in the shared cell, none conversing but all probably sharing the same thought process: escaping, somehow. Though, Rey found she wasn’t in the cell long before she was being summoned.

“Ren wants the girl.”

The trooper pointed to her, and she froze where she stood.

The guard didn’t move, protesting, “These prisoners haven’t been logged yet.”

Rey crept backward into the shadows, praying that would buy her time: that since they weren’t archived as prisoners, they were untraceable on the ship, giving her an advantage in the unlikely circumstance that she made her way out.

“Take it up with Ren.” The trooper argued back, his posture agitated, like he was impatient or scared. Probably the first.

There was a sigh behind the guard’s mask, obviously indicating his annoyance, when he eventually stepped aside and turned, probably glaring at her under the mask.

“You!” He pointed to Rey, the shadows doing little to conceal her, and she cursed the fact. “Get over here.”

* * *

 They walked down the hall, the trooper finally acquiring a blaster and pointing it where Rey feared the most. She tried not to panic as it rested by her abdomen. She switched up her thought process, opened her mouth to inquire just who the hell  _Ren_  was and what he wanted with her when—

“In here!” The trooper whispered harshly, pushing her into a thin space separating the wall as the hall cleared.

He lowered his blaster and pulled his helmet from his head, so swiftly it startled Rey. Beneath it, revealed a man about her age, and looking just as scared as she was. Ah, so he  _was_  scared.

“Listen carefully. This is how it’s gonna go…” Rey backed as far as she could into the wall behind her. He ignored that. “This is a rescue mission.”

Rey frowned, initially pausing, before inching forward instinctively at his words. “Are you with the Resistance?”

“What?” He mirrored her expression. “No, I need a pilot! I saw you on Takodana, you piloted that cruiser. Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

Rey paused, mouth agape with shock. “What?”

“Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

“I can fly…yeah, I can fly one.” She answered, seeming to shake herself free of the initial confusion.

“Good. Follow me.”

“Wait!” She gripped his arm as he tried to exit, immediately regretting her decision, wondering what possessed her to do that. She dropped his elbow as he stared at her.

“Why are you doing this?” She shook her head slightly, not able to understand.

His eyes fell, contemplating perhaps, or negotiating with himself. When his eyes returned to hers, he answered, “because it’s the right thing to do.”

Rey believed him… _partially_.

She would also find herself to conclude that he didn’t know how to fly, and that’s why he needed her; someone already looking to escape and would comply.

* * *

They moved like prisoner and escort all the way across the base. Though, before they could cross the deck to the hangar, Rey heard a familiar low roar. A Wookie’s roar.  As they turned the corner, she saw them, and they saw her, and Han raised his blaster, overall startled by the sight of her. He regained his composure amidst the shock, and straightening his grip once more to aim at the Stormtrooper, his helmet back on, making him look significantly less friendly and more First Order. 

“No!” Rey raised her arm to do whatever she could to protect him. “He’s helping me escape!” She said, her small body not quite tall or wide enough to shield him fully.

Han lowered his blaster and Rey relaxed before she ran the few feet between them to wrap her arms around his neck, shocking him and herself with the embrace. It was foreign, being so close to Han, but she was never happier to see his aged face.

“What are you doing here?” He nearly growled as she dropped her feet to the ground again, not having noticed how much she had really launched herself at him. Chewbacca behind him offered his own concerns in a low rumble.

“They picked me up on Takodana.” She informed him.

“What were you doing  _there_?”

“I had to leave D’Qar. Leia gave me a—” She searched her pockets for the beacon, forgetting it had been confiscated.

“You were  _supposed_  to stay in sp—“

“Wait…why are you here?” Rey interrupted, suddenly realizing.

It became apparent that while Rey was conducting a rescue mission of her own, with a Stormtrooper in tow, Han had been sent on one himself: for her. Leia had known she wouldn’t stay put. Leia had given her the beacon to find her wherever she had gone.

“Why didn’t you follow your orders?” He grumbled in annoyance, but Rey detected a sense of relief in his tone.

She shook her head, “there’s really no time to explain. We need to get out of here!” She tried to grab his arm, but he was stiff as stone.

“I can’t, Rey.” His eyes finding hers, his gaze and next words halting her movements. “Ben’s here.”

She froze, “what?”

Feeling her heartbeat thrum in her ears and her stomach seize with panic, she opened her mouth to ask  _why_ , but Han shook his head.

“No time to explain. The Resistance is on its way.” He answered, grimly. “Listen, if your friend here is really going to help us, he’ll show us how to lower the shields.”

They turned to look at the Stormtrooper and waited. It seemed as if he was contemplating, tersely and for a long moment, but he eventually moved his helmet slowly in agreement, deciding that, even with the detour, they were still his only way out.  “I know who can get them down.”

* * *

 “This is where we split off.”

After getting the chrome Stormtrooper to lower the shields, there really wasn’t much left to do except blow up the base, and they needed to get inside the Oscillator structure to do that. The Resistance was in bound. They were already firing upon the base’s structure. Getting in, that’s where Rey flexed her expertise in mechanics.

Han turned back to her, the cold air whipping around them violently, chilling her to the bone. “When we get inside, you both take these and set them up under the foundation over there. And watch the sun. We won’t stand a chance once the light runs out.” He handed the bag to the Stormtrooper, FN-2187, turning his eyes back to acknowledge Rey.

She nodded, but interjected. “What about Ben?”

Han looked down and shook his head, preoccupied in thought. “Leave that to me. Here take this.” He handed her a blaster.

Rey opened her mouth to protest, but Han shook his head. “I’ll find him. Now go.” He had already walked away, gripping and disappearing up the ladder before she could reply.

Rey turned, meeting eyes with FN-2187, his armor making a mess pile in the snow, the white almost camouflage against it. Donning black, he looked normal, almost Resistance. She nodded to him and he followed her.

The air froze her bones, and she gasped as another gust hit her. Rey had only ever known Jakku with its fierce summers and Hosnian Prime with its mild winters. There was never this violent cold.

They reached the outside of the service hatch, rummaging through the machinery until she found the proper wiring. Pulling a wiring plate from the inside, she consequently heard a shift above as the doors swung open.  If Han and Chewie had made it to the top, they were soon inside thanks to her.

Above was a cluster of noises, their eyes drifting up to witness the scene. The Resistance pilots had come, and they were quickly wreaking  _havoc_. Rey smiled wide at the sight. The TIE fighters flooded in response, and the real battle had begun. They were going to escape, this being their chance. They would make it out alive.

They were quickly on to their next job, Rey’s fingers searching the bag and opening it wider to peek inside to advantage her search for the remaining charges Han had left behind. But her eyes found something silver, and what looked like the hilt of a—

The second her fingers touched it, a screeching noise startled her, and she edged backward, sending her up on her feet.

She looked up, and a long, dimly lit hall surrounding her, filled with blue lights that illuminated one-by-one, down further as if prompting her to follow. She glanced around, not finding snow, not finding anything familiar, what is this place?

Beginning her first steps to nearing down the hall, searching a sense of understanding, the hall suddenly twisted and collapsed with her movements. She stumbled, the fall of the structure pulling her down with it.

Something large, like a pillar fell just inches from her, and she heard a cry, an agonized noise as she looked up to witness a hooded man. His hand, metal and bionic, reached up to touch a droid, one she had seen before…somewhere…as the temple around them  _burned_  and the rain fell from the sky, puddling into mud as she tried to push her body upward.

She twisted and her gaze turned upward when she heard another shout from behind her. A man came running towards her, either to attack or flee whatever was behind him, when the same rasping noise that she heard before suddenly erupted, her vision illuminating with  _red_. A body fell, thoroughly impaled from the beam, the  _lightsaber_. She had only known of one man to have a red lightsaber, a relative of Ben’s, he told her, his grandfather…Darth Vader.

She scrambled to her feet, backing away, when a masked figure surrounded by a cloaked group of beings turned his gaze to her, her movements having only caught his attention, delaying not to trudge through the softened earth to her  _urgently_.  She stepped backward blindly, horrified as he advanced, when she heard more cries and the darkness evaporated.

Turned down once more, her eyes found sand, the telling atmosphere that led her to conclude her environment was the desert: Jakku.

Her eyes found the girl,  _her_ , down below, screaming up to the ship that raced back into the atmosphere, without her, leaving her behind. Rey’s stomach seized with panic at the memory.  _No. Not again_. Unkar Plutt gripped her arm harshly and pulled her small body away as the tears fell, and Rey looked up at the ship and away from her younger self, watching as the sky narrowed into a small red opening before her eyes found snow again.

She turned to sprint through the forest, her pulse racing, willing herself to wake from her nightmare. But she didn’t make it far before the red beam, the one that rasped and hissed, threatened upon her. Her eyes found the same masked man stalking closer to her. She felt trapped in a dream, a nightmare, each flash of the vision becoming more vivid than the last, as if she could see into the future, as if it was  _real_.

She backed away, but before she could catch herself, her body fell to the snow once more, the snow by the base instead of the forest. The impact was rough against her back, but FN-2187 had caught her by the elbow, a more welcome face to witness, and she looked up to see the pillars and not frosted  _trees_ and the murderous red lightsaber.

“Are you okay?” He asked, trying to pull her to her feet. She bolted upright, and when she straightened herself, she backed away quickly, her terrified eyes meeting FN-2187.

He stared at her. She didn’t reply so he urged on, “hey, what happened—“

“What is that thing?” Rey asked suddenly.

He frowned, “what thing?”

She pointed to the bag, not willing to reach inside and reveal it herself, not after what had just happened.

FN-2187 eyed her suspiciously, but eventually knelt by the satchel, reaching inside to pull out the silver handle. The _lightsaber_. He studied it for a while, “it looks like a weapon.”

But Rey froze, staring at the lightsaber. Ben had a lightsaber. Not many others  _had_  a lightsaber. What was it doing in Han’s bag?

Rey also wondered why when he touched it he hadn’t been knocked over and consumed with…with  _images_. Memories? Visions? FN-2187 quickly turned his eyes to Rey, her expression still startled from whatever she had just experienced.

FN-2187 inched his arm out to her, offering her the weapon, but she shook her head quickly. If she was right, if it was Ben’s, they would need it to return to him, but she feared what would come from touching it again. “Put it back.”

He nodded, and packed it back into the pouch. They took a moment to stare at each other, him breaking the silence.

“What’s left?”

Rey opened her mouth, prepared to answer when a voice startled her.

“You there! Halt!” 

* * *

 The masked man froze midway down the bridge, and Han watched his shoulders tense as the echoing name circled the oscillator interior. 

What was once his name… _Ben_.

Whatever version of Ben this was, his true character seemed hidden deep underneath it. This version calloused him, and deemed him almost unrecognizable. Though Han couldn’t applaud his skills on knowing his son to the great extent he thought he did, understanding his flaws and the  _absence_ , all factors that contributed to his hesitating on confronting the matter. But this man…whoever he was beneath the façade…he was born of his own flesh.

But even so, Han couldn’t be sure. Was it true? What he had heard…

He stepped out on the catwalk as the man midway turned finally, his mask fully visible, reminding Han of the last time he had seen a man wear a mask like it, and what that man had meant to the ones he loved. Another man with a greed for power, for darkness.

“Han Solo,” The voice was coarse and deep, accented by the modulator. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” 

Han inched closer. The voice not disguised enough to fool him.

“Take off that mask…you don’t need it.” Han moved forward still, mostly perhaps in disbelief, as if he moved closer he would better understand.

The body before him was still. Rigid.

“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” From his peripherals, Han could see hands balling into fists, the stretch of leather tight enough to make a sound. But Han imagined that, behind all the work this man had done to cover up, beneath was the last version he had seen of his son, trying to remember how long it had been since he had last set eyes on the man he had become, and truly witnessed the changes.

Han had always felt guilty for his decisions to journey off, always feeling incompetent as a father, especially in the present moment. He never imagined his decisions would have the consequences they did. He came to atone, in the only way he knew how.

He looked down to Ben’s hands, and then up to where his eyes might be behind the mask. “The face of my son.”

After a stiff moment of indecision, the man lifted his hands, unballing them to press the release, the hiss of the decompression lingering even after he yanked the metal away from his head.

All remained the same save the eyes, as Han witnessed him without the mask. They were cold, piercing as they stared forward at Han. It was Ben…only it  _wasn’t_.

“Your son is gone,” he replied, emphasizing distaste. “He was weak and foolish, like his father.”

Han watched Ben’s eyes flicker, watching him struggle in his anger, in his pain.

“So I destroyed him.” 

* * *

 “Intruders below the oscillator sector clearance,” the Stormtrooper nearest Rey informed into the transmission device. “We have them surrounded.”

Rey watched FN-2187 tense, raising his hands. Without his uniform on, and Rey assuming he wasn’t familiar with this group, he had no way of explaining the nature of their circumstances. Rey followed suit, raising her hands, eyeing the blaster at her feet. She could reach for it but there was no way of knowing if she would be fast enough.

Above them, the enemy pilots soared, one TIE fighter firing and sending an X-wing spinning down to crash in the snow beyond the trees. Rey watched the craft envelope in flames following the impact, and she wondered if they too would meet their end, her more likely than him.

The group inched closer, made up of two men on foot, followed by two more piloting two respective snow speeder. One snow speeder swerved close to where they stood, the driver aiming his weapon at them.

Rey felt her breath quicken, noting how slim their chances were of getting out of the situation alive. She readied her hand, flexing her fingers in the event that she edged enough courage to retrieve her weapon.

She could try, she had to—

Her hand lowered just as a blast fell amidst the Stormtroopers surrounding them. She and FN-2187 ducked, lifting their arms to shield from the snow that was forced upward from the impact. An X-wing, one of the Resistance above, was spiraling and sending blasts raining upon the Stormtroopers below.

They wasted no time, re-claiming their weapons from the ground and then firing, receiving the same in return as the opposition realized what was happening and attempted to regroup.

FN-2187 rushed to the snow speeder, finding it vacant after Rey had shot the driver, knocking him back, and pushed the thrust forward, startled by the speed.

“Get in!” he urged, as he slowed by Rey and she ran and climbed over.

They were quick to launch through the snow, hovering barely above the ground, as the other speeder raced behind them. Tailing them and _increasing_ with every second.

A shot whizzed by Rey’s ear and she ducked, letting out a terrified yelp. FN-2187 looked over at her, deciding.

“Switch places!” He said, loud enough over the roaring of the speeder, and she complied, crawling around him and gripping the steering, the switch wobbling the speeder and FN-2187 had to grip the edge to keep from stumbling.

Rey increased their speed, settling into the controls, becoming comfortable enough even as the firing behind her made her pulse race.

They entered the tree line, journeying into the depths of the forest. FN-2187 kept firing, admittedly better at it than she, though she could compliment herself a better driver.

A blast from behind hit the speeder suddenly, causing it to skid along the snow before it leveled and hovered again, the hover tech fluctuating in and out of usage. FN-2187 sent another series of shots, and one hit the driver, square in the chest plate of armor, before the speeder began to spin and flip.

He made a noise of celebration, settling in the seat and turning to grin at Rey, but found her eyes were still wide with panic. She couldn’t share his victory because their speeder was malfunctioning. The speeder sputtered, fluctuating from being in tune with the controls to objecting them. Rey tried to grip the shift gear tightly and  _slow_  as the speeder fully lost control and they fell to the snow, the hover tech faulting finally from the blast.  

They skid and turned, hitting the harsh environment that resided just below the snow before they came to a final stop. Rattled by the impact, they turned to look at each other, Rey being the first to move after a long pause. She exited the speeder. Not knowing where exactly they had entered the forest or which way to get out.

“We’ll have to carry on by foot.” She muttered, not checking to see if he agreed or if he had even heard her.

They were lost. She looked around grimaced. FN-2187 hopped out of the speeder and Rey moved forward, beginning in a guessed direction, hoping she had chosen the right one.

* * *

 The red, rasping, _unforgiving_ lightsaber ignited, passing through flesh, through bone, and beyond Han Solo.

He looked up, his vision becoming blurred and muscles locking as his body tried to fight what was happening, the melting of tissue against the heat left to cauterize when the lightsaber’s beam silenced and vanished.

Ben was looking back at him, a man who had grown into something new, but remained his son despite everything he had just done to try and convince him otherwise. The deed would verify his loyalty to whatever darkness succumbed him, he had convinced himself, but it only made him weaker, it fragmented his resolve.

Han couldn’t breathe, his final moments spent trying to comprehend the physical action as well as the emotional process of what had happened, what it meant.

His hand lifted, miraculously, despite his body tensing from the pain, and he brushed his fingers against Ben’s cheek, the final touch. Feeling them slip as he did, Han fell, off the catwalk and down to the depths of the oscillator, to the pit that consumed.

The man, Ben, whoever he was now, looked down as the phantom of Han fell away, taking the warmth of his fingers, and the _forgiving_ touch down with him. His lips parted in shock, still not fully processing what he had just done. There was no time to fully reflect when a blast hit him, sending him stumbling backwards and to his knees.

He growled in pain, toppling over as the heat seared his skin amidst his robes, and he looked up, finding Chewbacca at the edge of the platform above, roaring in rage.  His stomach fell, the guilt beginning to creep into his heart, but it was silenced as another blast struck him just above his chest. Ben couldn’t remember what happened next, he closed his eyes. The damage was final. 

* * *

 Rey and FN-2187 ran as the earth began to shake violently below them.  It had grown dark, the sun running out, meaning they were either about to be on a super weapon that had successfully acquired the energy to destroy more innocent planets, or they were about to crumble away with the planet, the oscillator being destroyed in that case. Either way, they _ran_.

Rey was convinced that the base they were racing across was the one that had been destroyed, Han and Chewbacca and the Resistance completing their mission. But she panicked amidst the knowledge, knowing if they didn’t make it to the clearing,  _any_  clearing in time, they would be crushed by the falling trees or the earth would open up and swallow them whole.

They were making progress, when FN-2187 skidded to a halt and swung his arm out to stop Rey as a tree fell over into their path, almost crushing them. It smacked against the earth with a loud crash and Rey jumped backward in surprise.

FN-2187 grabbed her by the hand, her initially resisting, not seeing how that made running any easier or quicker, and they raced further, finding without any light they weren’t equipped with enough knowledge or common sense to know which direction they were headed.

The earth opened just before them, and FN-2187 stopped quickly with a cry of surprise, turning away in time. He swung around, pulling Rey away, but his foot had caught on a fallen branch as he stumbled, sending him down and pulling Rey forward as her hand slipped from his grip.

He had fallen harshly, hitting his head against the trunk of a nearby tree. He stilled. Rey knelt and rattled him by the shoulders, calling out to him but he gave no response. The state of his consciousness was undetermined, he was barely responding and obviously not able to move away from the chasm that was splitting.  

Rey stepped upward quickly, leaning to grip his arm, deciding her only real option at that point was to try and pull him away from the earth that began falling over as it split further and closer to them.

She yanked, panicking, finding herself not strong enough to pull him quickly.  Soon they would both be swallowed up by the disintegrating planet. And just as she had pulled him far enough beyond the edge, a tree split in two, sending half of it descending and pinning FN-2187 to the forest floor.

Rey scrambled backward in surprise, but rushed to his side once more when she collected her senses, trying with all of her might to move the weight and free FN-2187, praying to whatever entity was listening that he was alive. It was no use, it wouldn’t budge. The ground shook again, and the trees groaned around her, threatening her.

She needed to do something, she needed to—

She looked up when a roaring engine and a brilliant light emerged, Rey turning her head to see the Falcon, the most welcome sight she could admit ever seeing at that exact moment. They had made it. They were found. Relief coursed through her and she stood to her feet, waving her arms violently though she knew…they saw her.

The Falcon lowered, and when it touched down, the drawbridge sank. A blur of thick brown fur emerged and Chewbacca bellowed a command in Shyriiwook. Rey stood back, understanding, and allowed Chewbacca to reach down and lift the weight of the tree debris from FN-2187, rolling it a distance, Rey watching as it fell over into the abyss that had only grown wider since her attempts to free him.

Chewbacca gripped FN-2187, pulling him into his arms as carefully as he could despite the urgency, and running past Rey up to the Falcon. Once inside, Rey darted to the cockpit, eager to assist Han in piloting. She sank into the co-pilot seat, but turning and finding the other seat empty. Chewbacca came and claimed it moments after, making quick work and refusing to acknowledge the confused look on her face.

“Where’s Han?” Rey asked, but Chewbacca just offered a low rumble by her side, telling her to focus on getting the Falcon off the ground, that being the most important thing. But a soft sound of pain escaped him, and Rey _knew_.

Han wasn’t on board, because Han didn’t make it. 

* * *

 They landed on D’Qar, finding the base hadn’t been destroyed as the Resistance had assumed, and when the drawbridge dropped, Rey was met with familiar faces, the _survivors_. 

She stepped down, Chewbacca carrying FN-2187 once more, and rushing him off to the Med Bay, the other members assisting him. Rey followed until she saw Leia, their eyes connecting. She knew. Of course she knew.

Rey stepped closer, and before she could open her mouth, Leia wrapped her arms around her and seized whatever thing she thought she might offer as a condolence. She didn’t cry, just held her firmly, as if she were to break her grip she might shatter. The two remained that way until unrelated business claimed their attention. The world didn’t stop.

When the day ended, and there was talk of uprooting the base and taking it off to another planet, not allowing the First Order to target the planet for destruction even without their super weapon, Rey sat alone with her hand placed flatly against her stomach.

The Med team indicated her vitals were well enough, and that she had done no real damage despite the panic and the rush of the journey, but she should avoid stress to reduce any bodily implications. Though, she didn’t know how she could follow through with that. Han had died. Leia had to confirm it since Chewbacca wouldn’t talk about it. And Ben...

The remainder of the Resistance sat in the hangar to regroup, and organize the detailed report. The battle and destruction of Starkiller base, they titled it.

Leia spoke first.

“The battle was a success, but we are not here to celebrate a victory. They know our co-ordinates and will attempt to further implement their power over us. We’ll need to begin the evacuation process.”

Rey watched her face, the strength she would have needed to be speaking during her time of loss…She looked away.  

“We lost many along the way, all who will be remembered for their sacrifice and journey in returning hope to the galaxy.” There was a small disruption as the fleet muttered their agreement. When they quieted, she continued.

It went on for several more moments. All fleet members recounting any information that might assist them in their next battle.

When it ended, Leia caught Rey’s eyes, indicating with a nudge of her head for her to follow. She maneuvered through the dispersed crowd and found her way to Leia’s side, mimicking her stride to follow in tempo.

“Chewbacca gave his full report.” Leia informed her, not turning to address her.

Rey curled her hands tightly, “And?”

Leia was silent for a moment as they entered the database, and she ushered the others to clear out. She gripped Rey’s hand when they were alone, slowly turning to look at her.

“Sit down.”

Rey obeyed, her eyes never leaving Leia’s as she sat beside her. Leia gripped the file tightly in her other hand, Chewbacca’s report or something similar.

“There have been some…disturbing discoveries. I ensured that you would be informed before the rest.

“About Han?” she asked, hoping to gather any information at all.

But Leia watched her without saying anything, shaking her head after an initial pause for extra measure.

Rey searched her eyes, knowing that if it wasn’t Han…it was…

“We know what happened to Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I had to type our FN-2187 an ungodly amount of times, (and I have already changed up so much of what is canon in this story), if you think for one DAMN second that I am NOT gonna let my main boy Poe give Finn his name, and instead let Rey give it to him, you are WRONG. Poe deserves that kind of kindness from me
> 
> Pls review, it gasses me up, this is how you get quicker updates.....


	3. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have edited, and re-edited, and re-edited this chapter to the bone. That’s why it took me a century to write. You deserve a faster update, but you also deserve a comprehensive one.
> 
> I would give free movie tickets and concessions for the ones who are still sticking around for this. (And I would recommend you go see Annihilation with it, your OG Queen Amidala did a kick ass job.)
> 
> Thank you, I love you.

 

* * *

 

 Ben Solo stood at the edge of the temple and watched it _burn,_ witnessing what was left of the Jedi influence burn away with it.

The temptation to tear apart the structure, the order Luke had tried to reinvent following the fall of the Empire, had been inspired long before his presence on Ryloth. Luke had bartered enough success in his academy that it continued for years, long past Ben and the initial class, onto younglings that he could brainwash with ideals too biased to leave room for any interpretation. He propagandized the truth of the Force, and would teach the new youth the same forms of disillusion.

When Ben left, rebelling with a few others, all tired of being suppressed by the Light and boxed in by the restrictions of what it meant to be a Jedi, he had learned the truth…

And by the time Luke had gathered enough information to form an opinion, a _judgement_ , about whatever influence he imagined puppeteered Ben to accept the darkness…it was not that likened influence that cemented Ben’s decision. It was _Luke_ and his belief that Ben should rather be murdered in his sleep, defenseless and without warning, than be given the opportunity to explain the whispers, the violent _nightmares_ …

The voice that frequented him with visits had pestered Ben for years with bribery, with the evidence of his incompetent family, forming a rift where it deemed necessary, but it never fully seemed to persuade him, there remaining the belief within him that he was able to resist the influence, no matter what it promised. He had hoped that others would believe him capable of that much.

But Han was gone, drifting somewhere in the Outer Rim, or in a cantina, shacking up with whoever flared his ego enough to occupy the time he neglected giving to his family. Leia was constricted by her economic duties and political tactics, always planning for others’ welfare while her son’s remained a mystery. His parents had failed him, and he would come to find…so would the rest.

Luke had believed himself well enough off in the knowledge of his nephew’s character, so much so that when he invaded Ben’s sleeping mind that night, and saw what the evil presence had showed him, he believed Ben to summon such a reckoning, that it was Ben who wanted it.

He did not understand that Ben’s dreams were not entirely his own.

The telling hum of the lightsaber roused Ben, and upon turning to witness it, he could see Luke’s eyes and the terror. He could see what he planned to do.

_Ben, no!_

But Ben reacted, reaching up, and pulling down on the enclosure when his lightsaber did only so much to defend him from his position. The weight of it fell at full force, crushing them.  

When Ben surfaced the destroyed hut, amidst injury and shock, he called for them…and they _came_.

Ben had been summoned to Ryloth to do one thing, but came with a plan to do something else entirely. He rallied the ones who had rebelled with him in the beginning, the others who did not believe the lies, and kept them awaiting the proper opportunity.

Ben had agreed to go to Ryloth, but he knew he would not assist in keeping the padawans’ faith in their master—in the Jedi way—not as his uncle had hoped. The disillusions had run their course, and it was time to end the cycle. 

When the opportunity came, and Luke would be exposed for his ignorance, the others would assist in redirecting the remaining padawans; Ben would require their help. They would return to their initial training ground, summoned by the one who had once recommended leaving it behind.

Ben was set to wake the village, inform them of their disadvantage, the truth they did not know, and give them the chance to change their future. But all the motivation faltered when a voice whispered, awake and greedy, beyond his dreams, and retelling the event that just occurred and reminding Ben of the loyalty the others certainly possessed for their master.

_They are beyond the opportunity for enlightenment, buried too deep by cherishing your uncle, idealizing the lies. He would kill you in your sleep, defenseless and unaware…like a coward…they will do the same. You cannot save them._

_The Jedi must fall._

And that night, they would.

Ben did as he was instructed, as did the others, fueled by rage and the betrayal he felt, the emotions surging through him magnified by the whispering voice in his mind. 

He watched the flames engulf and destroy, the echo of the screams causing his body to pulse with anger and fear and _darkness_.

When it was over, he was stricken from the act, spent effort trying to regain the sense of purpose he had felt only minutes before. There was no coming back from what was done. Though…he wasn’t convinced he would want the option if it existed.

He knew the truth. Everything left to oppose it was a lie. The Jedi remnants were extinct. He had made sure of it. They would start over, bring a new order, a more logical knowledge to the galaxy, without the deceit, without the _lies_.

And Rey…he would go to her in time, when he was stronger, when he was wiser…and she too would come to learn the truth. She would understand.

_Come now, Solo…it is time to begin your training._

Ben retreated, each step defining his future, each step erasing his past.  

 

* * *

 

 

Rey wheezed. The effort to try and fill her lungs with air once more deemed itself a much harder task than she had estimated. She was not a stranger to the Force, but she would not exactly call herself a friend either. They were acquaintances, _colleagues_.

It had always been there, she knew, burrowed deep and without much knowledge of how to access it. But since Starkiller, something had erupted within her. Since then, nothing had been the same.

Though, when Luke had adamantly disagreed to _listen_ once more, and the Force that had been used in his defense against her sent her falling backwards, she knew she would have to teach herself to at least bend her knees and fall with grace in the event it happened again, instead of with all weight landing on her back. She _wheezed_.

She had much to learn.

Luke hadn’t meant to react as so, she could see it in his eyes, but Rey wasn’t listening and his frustration seemed to channel beyond him and knock her down. Her persistence was _maddening_. The Force, she would assume, sided with Luke in stilling her, in stopping her.

All humiliation at that point was just a wasted reaction, she was angry.

Standing and glaring over at Luke like he was wasting her time, _which he was_ , she shouted, “Why…won’t you just… _try_?” Her body still struggling from the loss of breath as she knelt to retrieve her staff and things, correcting her stance as the wind from the island pulled at her clothes and the chirping of some incessant _birds_ echoed through the hills.

“It’s pointless.”  Luke shook his head in…disappointment? She seethed.

Rey continued forward, her staff raised. He would listen to her. She would make him.

His reluctance to teach her must have stemmed from problems before her arrival, and ones she frankly didn’t know of or care much about to begin with. She didn’t come to be bypassed by his hesitancy and history. She came to prepare. He was her only hope.

It was months after Ryloth, after Starkiller. She had already waited long enough.

“Chewbacca was there…with Han,” Leia had whispered that day, looking at Rey as she recounted Chewbacca’s report, and the details they now knew. Details that soon everyone would know. Rey remembered looking back, her eyes left pleading, as if she could change what Leia was about to say if she willed it enough. “He reported that a First Order affiliate, calling himself Kylo…Kylo Ren…boasted of killing…Ben.”

Rey’s face wrinkled in pain, the tears that were kept back against her better judgement were now painting terrible patterns along her cheek, down to drip off her jaw and land in her palms.

Ben was dead.

He was gone, and yet, the evidence of his…love, his _existence_ …grew inside of her. She clutched her hand to her stomach, grazing her fingers past her ribs and to wrap around her abdomen to try and ease the pain that transfixed her, or perhaps to allow any form of comfort to the one forming in her.

But on Ahch-To, as Rey stood, gritting her teeth while Luke turned away from her once more, it had since been _months_ ; months since the death of Ben...and months since his son was born.

 _Ben_ …she called him Ben, after his father.

He had spent too little time in her arms, days that were short and few, all because she wouldn’t stay. Rey would go on to find Luke, the very last Jedi. And her son would be left in the care of the Resistance.

She couldn’t truly be with her son, feel content in his safety, secure in _her_ vengeance, until Kylo Ren was dead.

But sacrifices had to be made.

“Stay,” Leia warned as Rey stepped away from her infant child and readied herself to move past the frame of the entryway. The resistance had set up on Chandrila, as Leia had predicted. Though it was nowhere near where Rey and Ben had stayed when they came last.

“Doing this won’t bring you peace. Ben is gone, there is no changing that. But this…being here, and a mother to your child…that will fill your life with purpose. It was too late for me when I realized that...”

Leia paused to hang her head, admittedly ashamed.

But Rey was decided, _sure_. “Ben isn’t gone. Not truly. Not while my son lives.” She disagreed, solemnly. “But I cannot let Kylo Ren live.”

Leia looked up, “why?” Why Rey? Why was it her responsibility? Her demon to face?

Rey gripped her staff tightly, holding onto every ounce of strength she could muster to leave behind Ben’s legacy, her child, to go and avenge his death. She had every motivation to achieve her vengeance, but lacked the will to leave her child. In the end, it was her strength that decided for her, not her heart.

“Because it kills _me_.”   

So she would search for Luke until she found him. Even if she had to tear the galaxy apart.

Luke had disappeared, found solace in isolation, or perhaps he had burned away with the rest. Though, Leia assured her that his chances of surviving the attack on Ryloth were greater than the alternative.

But everything was a mystery and nothing was explained.

That was…until the Resistance voyaged to Ryloth.

They had retrieved Luke’s location from a piece of a map left behind in the damage on Ryloth. R2-D2, an astromech droid, sent out a transmission explaining the aftermath, causing the Resistance to rally up a team to scavenge Ryloth for an explanation.

She had journeyed there seeking answers, as well, looking among the ash and destruction for Ben even knowing he wouldn’t be found. _This isn’t where it happened._ The rest of the team searched the temple grounds while she searched the living quarters and the ruin left behind.

Then it called to her, just like in the vision on Starkiller. A scream, agonized and woeful, ringing in her ears as if it had just occurred around her.  She followed the noise, her fingertips reaching where they were led, shifting away the debris until she uncovered it…

The map, as it had been identified.

A small bit of silver that looked like a drive that undoubtedly wasn’t the entire thing, but rather, a part of a whole. They didn’t know the purpose of it being there or how Rey had even found it, but they examined it nonetheless.

Rey confided to Leia that the voice she heard on Ryloth was the same as the voice in her vision on Starkiller. She told her of the burning temple and R2-D2, of a man collapsing as he witnessed the destruction. Rey made her own assumptions then, ones that Leia confirmed. The man, the one with the mechanical hand made of wire and metal, the one who had _screamed_ …it was Luke.

And he had left them clues to finding him. There, on Ahch-To.

Rey went with Chewbacca, and as they landed on the island, she left him to climb to the top, finding Luke with his back turned, expecting her.

“It’s you,” He whispered after the initial pause of silence, _shock_ , pulling his hood down to examine her face when he turned and as she shifted closer. _Impossible_ , he though. “Who are you?”

Rey frowned, her hand gripping her staff so tightly it would leave marks beneath her palm.

It seemed unlikely Luke knew who she was. Ben kept his life and the one’s in it as neglected pieces of knowledge to the public eye as possible, especially to someone as alienated to him as his uncle was.

But her eyes drifted down to the metal hand at his side. It _was_ Luke. She had feared she would be wrong, traveling all the way to a system that housed the island and not knowing what waited for her there, going forth only driven by the hope she harbored.

“I need your help,” she began, her throat thick as she attempted to carry on, neglecting to answer him. But he just shook his head.

“I’ve seen you before,” He continued. “Who are you?”

Rey straightens, deciding. “I’m Rey,” she finally answered, but it didn’t phase him. He wasn’t enlightened by her name. Then his face constricted, as if in terror, finally _realizing_.

“It was you,” Luke withdrew slowly, “that night…”

Rey blinked rapidly, confused. She opened her mouth, but he was already coming closer, up to her like he might seize her, but her maneuvered himself around her and…fled. Actually… _fled_.

He moved with urgency, as if he was expected somewhere, or if it were that he couldn’t stand to stay put any longer. She turned and called out to him but he didn’t turn, so she followed him, matching his pace.

She moved fast, eventually coming to his side and gripping his arm, “Master Skywalker, I—“  

“You were there…in Ben Solo’s mind that night. When he…when Snoke—“ He flinched away, his eyes darkened at the thought.

“What are you talking about?” Rey rasped, her body going cold at the mention of Ben.

Then Luke told her, told her everything he had seen that night when he invaded his nephew’s mind. There was terror and death and destruction, all by Ben’s hand. He told her that he had seen his nephew, tall and broadened by his greed for power, having only seen the type of hunger once before in his father, Anakin, when he had fallen to the dark influence.

He told her how Ben had slaughtered innocents, and purged whatever desire befell him. A mask of darkness shielding him, changing him, _consuming him_.

Then he mentioned seeing her, standing cloaked in shadows, her eyes glowing yellow under a crimson moon as she silenced her saber and reached for Ben. In his dream, they had walked atop bodies that turned to skeletons that withered to ash under their imprint. She had caused just as much annihilation as he had.

She had desired it just as equally.

Luke receded, slowly moving away from her. When he managed enough space in between them, as if it be necessary he would have the distance to flee, or _fight_ , he asked again, “who are you?”

Rey looked up, her shock so prominently displayed across her face she may have looked like someone who had just been sliced through.

“I’m his wife.”

 

* * *

 

  

Kylo Ren was born of anger and greed, rapidly manifesting into existence without much encouragement needed from Snoke. The basis, the foundation, of his persona’s birth was built long before an initial meeting.

But he could not fully claim to have stripped himself of what it meant to be Ben. Rey had ensured that.

But any spark for revival would be extinguished in time.

Upon Ben’s first meeting with Snoke, he had been given the new name. It rang through the hall with prominence, and lingered long after it had been initially pronounced. Ben would take it, wear it, mold into it, _become it_.

Snoke was tall, slender, and dressed himself like a king, regal in his metallic robes. His fingers stretched like claws and his wrinkled face warped into a sneer whenever he spoke. By all aesthetic terms, he was disagreeable: shriveled, unpleasant, but Ben— _Kylo_ couldn’t look away.

“You have been silenced for the last time. It is _now_ that the galaxy shall know Kylo Ren…and his crushing power…Rise, my apprentice.“

When he did, the man who would become Kylo had thus commanded Ben Solo to fall away into the dark crevices of his soul. Henceforth, the name would be a curse to him, an echo of his heritage, and the deceit that ran in his family.

But Ben Solo could not be merely erased from his heart, for he had ties that still connected him to his past.

When Snoke had sent Kylo Ren to Mustafar to begin his training, the others went as well. They became a militia, a knighthood, all sanctified by the righteousness of the powers that beseeched them. There was no longer any _resistance_ , only the means to explore their potential.

The days were long and grueling as they went on. Having learned where their talents were met to the extent of their power, the First Order coincided with their ideals of strength much more accurately than their previous outlet.

And Kylo Ren excelled among them, himself being stronger, more driven by his circumstance. He was left to await what came next. When he could prove himself, and when he would return to Rey.

Aboard the Finalizer, Kylo Ren had the unfortunate luck to entertain the ludicrous tenacity of the commanding General, Armitage Hux from time-to-time. Hux detested the presence of Kylo, sneering down upon the reputation of such a newcomer, as if he did not believe in such advancements in rank before they were deemed properly due.

And Kylo had no patience to deal with loud-mouthed, pompous _fools_. 

And yet, he was still surprised to see Hux beaten and _bloodied_ on the floor.

Kylo had soon been summoned aboard the Supremacy where Snoke was waiting with news.

The kind of news that would test the fragility of Ben Solo…and the strength of Kylo Ren.

Snoke waited with the lie that would ensure his _loyalty_.

When Kylo had stepped beyond the lift, the doors slide shut behind him silently as his steps rang in the quiet room. The only other sound heard was Hux’s ragged breathing, his body sprawled out on the hard floor before Snoke. Kylo could see blood smeared across his face and dribbling down his nose. From where Hux was on the floor, he was shaking pathetically while he keeping his head low.

“Ah, my apprentice. At last returned.”

Kylo paused when he had come close enough without disturbing whatever had just occurred, turning his eyes from Hux at his side, and up to the Supreme Leader. The general stood as Snoke permitted him, wobbling as he tried to maintain balance, but ultimately regaining his posture. He turned to glare at Kylo and shoved past him, with a fist wrapped around his nose, finger under his nostrils in an attempt to clot the bleeding.

“Come closer now…” Snoke hissed softly as Hux moved away, reclaiming Kylo’s attention. He responded to the command dutifully, nearing the looming figure without reservation. _Obedient_. Hux hovered just paces behind, glaring for equal measure. He would not be dismissed for long.

“As you are aware, we have torn a hole through the order that once stood to oppose us.” Snoke began, his fingers curling into a fist triumphantly.

Kylo Ren nodded. He had heard of entire planets being destroyed, had seen the blasts fired from aboard the Finalizer.

The weapon…it was like the Death Star, only… _bigger_.  The Death Star was well known in his family, being the weapon that had obliterated Alderaan, his mother’s home planet, and the weapon that his father and uncle had destroyed.

Starkiller would mold into _his_ _own_ legacy.

He understood Snoke had planned to destroy the Hosnian system as an attempt to eradicate the capital.

He had given no further objections: except _one_.

It was Ben Solo who had fallen on his knees after he heard the news, begging his master. _Please_. He cared not for Hosnian Prime, the planet could burn and combust into ash…but there on the planet was his home, his _wife_. His mother, as well, but he believed her diplomatic tendencies kept her off planet for the most part, and she had made her choices. Whatever happened to her would be a result of her own abandon.

But Rey…Rey would be there as she always would. She would collapse with the planet if he didn’t beg for her survival, and do something to save her.

It seemed his desperation had paid out.

A shuttle would be sent for Rey before the blast made contact, he was assured. It was a stealth mission, and Snoke was to have someone arrange for her safe delivery. He had _promised_.

That was what Kylo believed was the purpose for summoning him…that she had arrived at last.

But he was wrong.

“Our weapon has proven itself more powerful than we had imagined.” Snoke’s greedy mirth seemed to fill the throne room, but it slowed with hesitation. “Your old life on Hosnian Prime, the entire planet along with the New Republic, have been decimated as planned…”

There was a long pause as Snoke’s eyes, filled with merciless triumph, morphed into something else, something _waiting_ , and he seemed to debate his next words carefully. “But…we had report that the escort crew Hux and his party sent to retrieve your wife…did not emerge from the planet before its destruction.”

The words slipped past Kylo like a breeze, one that might blow him over. His stomach plummeted as he looked up, the words suddenly becoming tangible, having an unbearable weight as they sunk into his heart.

Snoke hadn’t summoned him with news of Rey’s arrival. He had been beckoned to be informed of her _death_.

Kylo had to lock his knees to keep from falling.

“No…” He whispered, having to try his hardest to speak. Because it _couldn’t_ be. It _wasn’t_ true.

“Your wife has always clung firm to the Light. I worried her motivation for a new allegiance was not nearly as substantial as yours. And It seemed she was not as easily convinced as you had predicted.” Snoke paused to stare at the man before him. “The crew had overestimated the time given to them, and was left with no choice but to _force_ her to comply. Only…by then, the weapon could not be stopped.”

Snoke’s eyes flickered, undecipherable as he leaned forward. “She is gone.”

“No,” Kylo turned his eyes down almost immediately, shaking his head, before his entire frame seemed to vibrate with pain or fury or confusion, he wasn’t sure which. “It’s not true. She can’t be—”

Snoke bowed his head, “your ears do not deceive you.”

“I would have felt her!” Kylo bit out, clenching his jaw so tightly he might have shattered it under the pressure. His fingers curled and the emotion rolled off him like a wave, making the floor vibrate and Snoke’s guards that surrounded him aim their weapons in defense.

Snoke leaned closer, waving a hand to dismiss his guards before his fingers fell, gripping the arm rests of his throne with might. “You were wrong to think the bond you believed you shared was anything other than a metaphysical—“

“You’re lying—“

Kylo moved then, to object or confront, his motive at the time wasn’t properly determined. Either way, it deemed itself aggressive enough, and he was stilled instantly, his reaction trapped in a grip that tightened against him. Snoke had stood rapidly, holding his hand up, exerting his power beyond, falling upon Kylo to ensnare the anger, the _grief_.

“Your heart weakens you and leaves you ill-informed, apprentice. Do you not remember that I know _all things_?”

If he would not believe, Snoke would _show_ him.

The Force pushed against Kylo’s body, against his mind; tightening, fusing quickly into his bones, and around every cell that made up his structure. He couldn’t breathe. Something within him tightened, and suddenly, as if he had opened his eyes to witness the sun, he could see her.

Rey.

She stood, staff in hand, attacking and _screaming_ her defiance. _She would not go_. Suddenly, she was running, fast and lithe as he remembered her, from what he did not know, but she wasn’t fast enough. And then, she was gone, engulfed in red as the heat from the blast entered the atmosphere and consumed her. She had disappeared, like the sun vanishing behind the horizon, leaving only darkness to remain.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Snoke looking back at him with ones of a bright, terrifying blue. They were unlike Rey’s, the hazel gaze he had just witnessed filled with fear as red enveloped and _eliminated_.

Snoke relaxed his grip.

When Kylo fell to his knees, he was not able to find the will to stand when not being transfixed by the hold. He curled his fingers into fists on the ground before him, his breathing an uneven tempo, the _wetness_ staining his cheeks.

“ _No_ ,” he whispered.

Snoke stepped away, the hollow sound of his footfalls a tempo that matched Kylo’s ragged breathing. “She did not wish to join you, her grip to the Light too adamant to renounce…and yet you _mourn for her_.” His tone was laced with…disappointment.

Kylo shook his head, not daring to look up. It was false, whatever Snoke believed of Rey and her will…it had to be. He was misinformed. Rey would never…if she had ever loved him…

But she didn’t come. She fought against cooperating and _being with him_. Had she been informed? Did she even know he was awaiting her?

Her resistance, something the Rebellion had cemented into her moral structure, and the time she had wasted with her defiance had…it had…

She had been annihilated with the rest.

She was _gone_.

“Supreme Leader, I—“

It happened fast. One minute Hux’s voice was filling the silence. Another, and to blink, one would find themselves in a different atmosphere, one fueled by _rage_.

Kylo had silenced the words that fell from General Hux immediately, his body flung upward in a Force grip that ensured his feet no longer touched the ground. Kylo was on his however, and his fingers began to crush where Hux’s jugular might be if he had actually pressed his fingers to flesh.

The general’s surprise and pain came out in short rasping gurgles as he reached his arms up to try and break the grip, his feet flailing in panic.  

Kylo seethed. If it hadn’t been for Hux’s _useless_ men, Rey would still—

A raucous laugh rang shrill as Snoke watched, “Yes! Yes, good. Your anger makes you _strong,_ apprentice. Let it give you purpose.”

Kylo let out a cry of fury, of _anguish_ , and the guards neared, readying themselves to defend their master against such an attack. But Snoke sat, his eyes filled with a pent-up delight and malice, reveling in the display of power.

A muffled groan exerted somewhere deep in Hux’s throat, and soon, he was lapsing in and out of consciousness. Eventually, it became too dull to watch.

“That’s enough now,” Snoke ordered when Hux stilled, his entertainment beginning to fade, becoming bored.

Kylo’s breathing was tempered, wild. He did not relax his grip.

Snoke’s voice was steely as he leaned forward, eyes narrowing when he commanded once more, “Do as you are told, Kylo Ren.”

 _Kylo Ren_. The name seemed to snap him out of his reverie, and he stepped backwards, lowering his arm. Hux fell, landing hard against the ground, his body still as if unconscious or _dead_. He looked dead with his face all covered in blood.

Turning, Kylo looked over where Snoke sat, exhaling with effort from the deed. He moved forward, almost hesitantly, and once at the steps of the throne, he knelt, lowering his head as far as it would go.

He took a moment to try and compose himself, somehow, but knowing that despite it all, his efforts were well wasted.

“Show me,” he rasped, finally, his voice thick with torment, his fingers curling tightly into his palms as the energy continued to pulse within him.  “Show me how to be free of this pain.”

There was a long moment of silence, before Snoke closed his eyes and placed his long, bending fingers atop Kylo’s crown of raven hair. It cascaded down into his eyes, shielding his face, it being the mask he needed to hide behind.

When Snoke’s fingers touched his temple, his mind seemed to temporarily dull, becoming quiet.

A soft hiss echoed from above.

“I’ll show you _everything_.”

 

* * *

 

 

Rey woke outside of Luke’s hut that morning, alone, and finding that even with her body blocking the general path away, he had still managed to evade her, at some point having moved over or around her to get by. When she opened her eyes, she was irritated to find him gone. 

They had done everything they could to convince Luke to train her. Chewbacca had even forced the door to Luke’s hut off the hinges when he had locked her out, yelling at him in Shryiiwook to convince him to come back, come _home_.

But still, nothing worked.

“Why won’t you come with us? What is keeping you _here_?”

The questions were simple enough, but they made Luke turn away from her as if he didn’t know how to answer them.

Rey had watched his daily routine, had followed him around like a shadow, trying to get him to speak to her, to _cooperate_. But in the end, all she could do was watch. It wasn’t a conversation when the other refused to speak. She had grown tired of pleading.

And eventually, she had found the texts in the massive hollowed out tree by the cliffside, engulfed in fog from the sea mist below…or the mystery of it. Voices had guided her there, unlike the ones in her vision on Starkiller, but still whispering truths she hadn’t known she needed to understand. And It was there Luke had found her.

What was her place in all this? What deemed her importance in such a journey? How had she known of such a place? All were questions Luke required an answer to, and all continued to be a mystery to her.

She had tried to remain patient, to remain reasonable. But no matter how hard she had tried to convince him, Luke would go and proclaim his belief that the Jedi _would_ end…never to be revived.

Rey had suffered through his stubbornness enough.

She stood from her resting place on the cobble threshold, all fatigue fading from her system as she searched the horizon. Her movements were aggressive, terse as she firmly decided to track Luke down and quite literally _drill him in a new one_.

She had had enough of his wallowing. He wasn’t the only one who felt pain. She knew all about misery, just as much, if not more than he did.  

But he was her only hope. And if he had ever truly been a Jedi he wouldn’t just _give up_. She wouldn’t believe that.

The binary suns were above her, indicating the mid hour. Rey had wasted most of the morning brooding over Luke, but she wouldn’t waste any more of it. The island’s landscape was complex, and Luke didn’t exactly wish to be found, which undoubtedly meant her search take up most of the day.

She knelt to grip her satchel and headed down the steps, leaving her staff behind seeing as the island posed no real threat to her. And she would battle Luke with her words. Her last attempt sure to be her most persuasive.

 

* * *

 

" _Come home,” It was a miracle Han’s soft voice managed to get past Ben’s thoughts, tormented with the decisions he was due to make. “We miss you.”_

_For the first time in years, Ben looked upon his father’s face and detected sincerity. It made it harder for him to hate. Harder to do what he knew he must._

_In that moment, Ben Solo could not do as Kylo Ren was instructed._

_“You don’t belong here.” Han shook his head slightly, looking up. “You know Rey would say the same.”_

_Her name came as a shock, and his body had tensed tersely in response._

_Han didn’t know._

_Or perhaps he did, and instead he came to salt open wounds. But even that seemed unlikely. Though his kindness seemed irregular, Han had always admired Rey, and he wouldn’t mock her death._

_“I’m being torn apart,” Ben hung his head, his breathing shallow and caught. “I want to be free of this pain.”_

_Han stepped closer, and Ben let him, his fingers eager to reach out but remained at his side._

_“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it,” His voice was strangled, stricken with torment. “Will you help me?”_

_Ben’s eyes flickered upward and connected with Han’s, expecting to elicit some sort of confused reaction. But Han looked back solid, sure._

_“I want to,” His tone was soft, but his eyes they—_

_Han gripped his son by the arms, startling him. His fingers gripped so tightly, they bruised._

_“But you killed her, Ben...”_

_Ben flinched, his eyes staring at Han in horror, “No, I—“_

_“You did this!” Han stepped back, aiming his blaster, directing the barrel between his son’s eyes. Ben had opened his mouth to defend himself but instead, his eyes drifted down to Han’s abdomen, noticing the orange outline of embers circling the place where Ben’s red lightsaber had impaled him.  A sudden shrill beeping occurred, ringing down to the depths of the oscillator. But Han’s voice rose above it. Clear as day. “You’re a monster!”_

_He fired._

Kylo startled where he lay, his eyes blinking rapidly in the darkness, coming out of sleep violently to witness the night hour. The nightmare was still fresh on his mind even as his fingers curled into the sheets beneath him, gripping something _real_.

It had been months since Starkiller, but the nightmares still occurred like the images were a day old, coursing through his mind like they were new.

The beeping that had materialized in his dream was from a very physical source outside his subconscious, he realized grimly. It was one of his holopads notifying him with an alert.

He turned over and pulled the device closer, squinting through the dark to witness the message.

Just as quickly as he read it, he vaulted upward, gripping the holopad so tightly it would surely crack under his grip.  

FILE 3509, SECTION F: ACCESSED – UNLOCKED USING BB UNIT – GRID COORDINATES: O-17 ILEENIUM SYSTEM

The map had been opened, _accessed_.

Kylo felt his pulse quicken.

“Location status,” He ordered in a low voice, and the holopad responded to his voice command, lighting up beneath his fingers with the update.

A small glowing indicator pulsed rhythmically on the screen, nearly reaching the mapped outskirts of the planet, in bound to make contact within _hours_.

Kylo struggled to breathe, because if the data was correct, it could only mean one thing.

Luke had survived Ryloth…and he was headed to Ahch-To.

 

* * *

 

 

She hadn’t found him, not even with the full day’s advantage, and the suns had long since melted down beneath the sea. The soft glow of the hidden light was decreasing and she cursed herself, cursed _Luke_ , for having walked around for hours with nothing to show for it. 

The birds, the porgs, followed her in incessant patterns: sometimes very close and loudly chirping, enough to make her go mad. And other times hiding behind the rocks and tall grass, but peeking out in curiosity.

Either way, they lingered.

She had checked all the usual spots, but hadn’t found Luke in any of them. She had begun to assume he had combusted into pure matter and dusted away with the wind, seeing as he had disappeared off the surface of the island. Or perhaps he had just simply _disappeared off the surface of the island_. But his X-Wing was still submerged, and it wouldn’t have worked even if he had pulled it from the water and attempted to start it.

She growled into the night wind, consumed with pent irritation. She had all but given up.

Then she topped the hill that blocked the shore line.

Across the distance, maybe a mile out, she saw it: the glowing structure. It was a village, one larger than the one she had found Luke hiding in, and it glowed orange in the night. Whatever was happening within the walls, she didn’t know, but she would bet everything Luke was among it.

She quickened her pace, wasting no time seeing as she had already wasted enough.

The distance, and the effort spent getting to the blockade had exhausted her, and the walls had no entry. She was met with yet another _wall_.

She cried out in frustration. _No_. No more being _shut out_.

Slinging the satchel from her side, she set it on the floor. With timid—but urgent—fingers, she pulled the opening wider as to reach inside.

She had brought it to Ahch-To to train, but _much_ use that had been.

She looked up at the wall that kept her out, denied her, and she gripped the hilt of the lightsaber firmly before she stood, finding that she would have to use it despite training.

Rey swallowed her fear. She could _do this_. She would have to.

It was a blur, really. She ran, ignited the lightsaber and raised it high. And when it made contact, she found that after slashing at the bound wood, the brilliant power of the saber had sliced through it with one easy stroke and sent the remains tumbling down in a frenzy.

And by the stars, if that hadn’t felt _good_.

 _Natural_ , even.

She paused once inside, skidding to a halt as she looked up and found the rest looking back.

Oh. More caretakers.

They were celebrating something, it seemed, and she had ruined their splendor. A mad woman with a light sword coming in and destroying the peace.

With her lightsaber still ignited, one of the caretakers rushed forward and began scolding her in a language she didn’t understand. Another offered her a glowing stick, waving it up to her. She silenced the weapon quickly, ignoring them and turning to scan the crowds for a sign of Luke, eyes landing on the familiar forms of Chewbacca and R2-D2 across the way. Chewbacca roared something to her, waving his hand for her to come over. But she shook her head, narrowing her eyes in partial annoyance and confusion as to what Chewbacca was even doing in such a place, but decided to disregard her inquiries.

Then she saw Luke.

He was looking back, the commotion she caused having made him pause whatever interaction he was previously immersed in like the rest. But he turned away in response. _Leaving_.

She hadn’t spent her whole day searching just so he could _leave_.

“Hey!” Rey yelled loud enough, running the few yards between them and gripped his shoulder roughly, turning him to face her, all traces of civility gone. “You don’t get to walk away from me. You don’t get to keep _hiding_!”

Luke shook his head, his expression annoyed, but his face painted with fatigue. He looked like someone who hadn’t slept properly in years. “You’re wasting your time. Go home.”

He shook from her grip and began moving past the crowd, much to Rey’s annoyance, understanding that while she hadn’t cared much about it, Luke wasn’t partial to ruining the rest of the festivities with her outbursts.

She dug her nails painfully into her palms, restraining herself from reaching out and stopping him again, and instead begrudgingly followed.

“Not until you give me an honest answer!” She felt the emotion welling, hating that her body would react in such a way. She was becoming desperate. “You say you won’t help me, but you won’t even tell me _why_. I need to know!”

Luke ignored her, but Rey hadn’t quit.

“Why won’t you help me—”

He turned suddenly, his motions startling her to a stop, but it wasn’t his movements that transfixed Rey...it was his eyes. In them was a guilt that consumed.

“Because I couldn’t help them!” He growled, turning his eyes away when he couldn’t stand any longer to confess it. Them. The padawans. Ben. Everyone. “What makes you believe I can help _you_?” He whispered, shaking his head in…anger? His voice accused her for even believing it.

She stepped forward, as if she might reach out to comfort him, but neglected such impulses. Finding it wiser to keep her distance. But she whispered softly, carefully, “because you’re Luke Skywalker.” She had hoped that revelation would be enough.

But Luke scoffed, looking up in complaint _. Luke Skywalker_? “Luke Skywalker was a legend. But the legend you’ve heard…he doesn’t exist anymore.“

Rey moved closer, glaring at him. He could see in her eyes how much she detested what he had claimed.

“Yeah, well that old legend of Luke Skywalker that you _hate so much_ , I believed in!” She hissed, all forms of aggression returning when he wouldn’t permit her that small bit of hope. And _she_ was the stubborn one?

She hadn’t realized the wetness on her cheeks until it was too late to do much about denying it. “We all did,” vehemently whispering the words as if she hated that they were true, seeing as Luke had turned out to be such a horrible example of what she had presumed to be true.

“I know you can help me,” Rey continued, and her posture softened. She was tired. And she just wanted answers. Just wanted him to _comply_. “I haven’t given up believing that.”

Luke narrowed his eyes, but Rey could see the conflict warring within him.  

His eyes, weighed with sadness, bore into hers and softened. She could see that some part of her words had attempted to break down his defenses. But it wasn’t enough.

He closed his eyes and exhaled before he turned. His refusal was endless, it seemed.

Rey howled in frustration.

How _dare_ he? It didn’t make _sense_.

“You know—If you so desperately wanted to be left alone to wither away and _die_ here with your guilt, then _why_ did you leave behind the means to find you?” She ground out the words with as much venom behind them as she could muster.

She had assumed it was her threatening tone that caused Luke to turn back and look at her, but she was surprised to see the confusion in his eyes, indicating that whatever had caused him to look back was something else entirely.  

“What?” He frowned, unsure of what she meant, watching her small form balloon with pride and frustration. _The means to find him?_

Rey stepped closer quickly, her eyes blazing with confusion and irritation. Her voice mirroring her gaze. “The device with the encoded map we found on Ryloth. Why did you leave it behind for us to find you if you _didn’t_ wish to be found?”

She watched Luke recoil, his head shaking in confusion, there was a long pause before he answered, “I didn’t.”

He _didn’t_?

Rey’s face scrunched in bewilderment. “What do you mean?” She asked.

Luke’s face began to pale as he was undoubtedly becoming prisoned by his mind, trying to understand. Rey felt her confusion replace her anger, the questions leaving her dumbfounded.

“I didn’t,” He repeated.

Rey watched him carefully, and surprisingly, she believed him.

“Well…If you didn’t, then…who did?”

Luke couldn’t answer, not before an outbreak of noises suddenly erupted above where they stood. The harsh impacts of sound disturbing their musings.

Rey looked up, a shiver running through her as she saw the source of the noise, the shadows painted across the sky and reflecting beneath the binary moons. One-by-one, the familiar ships had begun to merge into the atmosphere of the planet, exiting the jump from hyperspace.  

The same ships that modeled the one she had been aboard when taken to Starkiller.

And she knew.

The First Order had come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is my brain. Sometimes when I'm writing I'm not really sure how I end up where I do. 
> 
> I'm equal parts out of my mind and angst driven into oblivion. But hey...it works...right?
> 
> Come visit my ask on tumblr and let's talk about Reylo and TLJ and if you got any questions on this fic I will answer you (( https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aforceawakening )) I'm really nice and I always could use more friends.


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